The Oscars Restored My Faith In Humanity

3 Mar

Being a) nuts, b) a hedonist and c) way too into films, I stayed up until 5am to watch all of the Oscars this morning. I’m so glad that I pulled through the part where I was getting angry at things because I was so tired and stayed watching shrew-eyed until the end because so much happened that made me really happy. Unlike The BRITs, where the atmosphere was one of cold, drugged indifference, The Oscars was one big display of love that said ‘fuck you’ to among others, homophobes, misogynists, food snobs and Russia tbh.

First of all, Jennifer Lawrence fell as she exited her car onto the red carpet. A magnificently raw choice for the face of Dior, having a woman who trips at the Oscars and doesn’t care, looks genuinely excited for rival Lupita on her win, and eats pizza in front of one billion people is amazing. She also wore a peplum when we were told they were ‘out’.  Ellen suggested that she bring Jennifer her Oscar should she win, to prevent any more falls. 1393810122_jlaw2_467 Lots of celebrities brought their mums, including Leo, Jonah Hill and Jared Leto.

Jared Leto, the first speech of the night for best supporting actor, showed how super wonderful he is when he shouted out The Ukraine and Venezuela, as well as saying that he stood before the world in order to represent those people who are banned from showing their love.

Lupita Nyong’o was exceptionally earnest in her acceptance speech, thanking those who have endured so much pain so that she could live so much joy. Benedict Cumberbatch cried.


Pharell sang ‘Happy’ in his questionable Vivienne Westwood mountain hat and shimmied with Lupita, Meryl Streep and Amy Adams (who was dressed in homage to Kim Novak in Vertigo.)


Lupita’s dress was inspired by champagne bubbles.
Catherine Martin won two Oscars for her production and costume design on The Great Gatsby!
Lady Gaga did not wear anything ridiculous, but turned up looking better than most.
Laurent Witz, an unknown frenchman who won an Oscar for his animated short, Mr Hublot, shook like a leaf as he gave his acceptance speech. Truly beautiful.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Emma Watson are now the biggest shipped couple on the internet after they presented an award together.
Ellen pretended she was going to order pizza and it was really funny, and then she actually ordered pizza and had a random pizza guy hand out paper plates of the slices to stars such as Jennifer Lawrence, Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts. Lesson learned food snobs, carbs are okay.
Ellen crowded several A Listers into a selfie that included Bradley Cooper, J-Law, Angelina Jolie, Kevin Spacey, Brad Pitt and Lupita Nyong’o. In an attempt to break the most retweeted Twitter record, Ellen broke both Twitter and the record.


Cate Blanchett accepted her award with a shout out to all the other nominees, and proved herself to be not only a fellow woman supporter, but also a staunch feminist (“the world is round, people”). She also thanked the make up artists for making her look attractive – humility, too. Love.

Leo kissed Matthew McConaughey on the cheek when the latter won best actor.

Everyone wore a million sequins and Gravity won a million awards, but Dallas Buyers Club took home best actor and best supporting actor while 12 Years A Slave won best fillm/ Steve McQueen jumped for joy.

Ellen also did this


To sum up, the Oscars and their room of the world’s most famous people showed the billion people watching that pizza is okay, and so is lesbianism, transvestism, being black and that women centric films are not unusual or niche.


2 Responses to “The Oscars Restored My Faith In Humanity”

  1. Movie Quibble March 3, 2014 at 2:26 pm #

    Great post. If I’m honest, I thought Ellen was a terrible host.

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